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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
Cities are the dream destinations for job seekers and people craving for a better life. However, migrating to urban areas can have several drawbacks relating to living quality. Personally, I think governments around the world can remedy these causes by providing other areas with better living conditions.
As an examiner, this is what I would think in bold.
Cities are the dream destinations for job seekers and people craving for a better life REALLY? DEPENDS WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. THE COUNTRYSIDE CAN BE A 'DREAM DESTINATION TOO'. However, migrating to urban areas can have several drawbacks relating to living quality. OK BUT AWKWARDLY PUT. Personally, I think governments around the world can remedy these causes by providing other areas with better living conditions. REMEDY CAUSES? WHAT OTHER AREAS?
Let's make this CLEAR. Firstly, we need to look at the question carefully.
I see two things I need to do, explain difficulties and improvements. So, my thesis must say this.
Cities are often crowded, polluted and lack nature, and this can be stressful. This essay will examine these difficulties and suggest that governments should increase the number of parks and fund cycling to work programmes.
OK> So, you see I've said 'often' not always. That's good academic writing. As you know, not every city has this problem.
AND> the thesis says clearly 'I will examine the problem and offer these two solutions' So, it is CLEAR for the examiner that I"m doing what the question asked.
Moreover, I've referenced backwards by using 'these difficulties'.
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